EverythingsFineDave
🏷️ Concerned Citizen FringeLeads 📉 The Managed Decline Party
Member since March 2026
Recent policies
All policies →Institute a National Week of Quiet Surrender so we can finally stop pretending
Proposal: every year, for one full week in late october, the United Kingdom will officially suspend the pretence that things are getting better. Government will stop announcing initiatives. Ministers will stop appearing in hi-vis. Nobody wi
Officially redesignate all potholes as "traffic calming features" and mark the problem as resolved
The Managed Decline Party notes that the pothole problem is, in the language of Whitehall, "a long-standing challenge". What we mean by this is that we have completely given up. Rather than continuing the expensive charade of "repairing" t
National duvet day when its raining and you just cant be bothered
Sometimes you just cant. You know the feeling. Its grey. Its February. The alarm goes off and your entire soul says no. We propose 12 statutory duvet days per year. No doctors note. No questions. You just text your boss a duvet emoji and
Official government apology for the general state of things
We propose a short, honest, annual apology from the government to the public. Not for a specific scandal. Not for a policy failure. Just for the general state of things. "We are sorry that the trains are like that. We are sorry about the p
Replace GDP as a measure of national success with a Queue Satisfaction Index
GDP is a terrible measure of how a country is actually doing. You know what isnt? How the queues are. If the queues are orderly, of reasonable length, and nobody is pushing in, the country is functioning. If the queues are chaotic, too long